Life!

I haven't blogged in awhile, so I figured it was about time for an update. The last month, to be quite honest, I've been in lala-land. Without going into too much detail and embarrassing him, I'll say that I've been pretty much focused on a new relationship with a pretty great guy. Things are really good with him and I feel tremendously blessed just to have him in my life. He's happy and positive and kind and works really hard at life and at making me happy, and he seems to think I can do pretty much anything. He's an exceptional person and the more I get to know him, the more amazing I think he is. Despite that, things have been rough lately. I'm still getting used to LA and my new life- the people, the area, the traffic... I miss my family and friends. I've been in two very minor accidents and, although everything is fine, dealing with the aftermath has been upsetting and, well, embarrassing. I'm also used to keeping a pretty rigorous schedule and I thrive on being busy, so it's driving me a little crazy to have so much down time. I'm working, but my job is less hours than expected, other jobs are not coming through, unexpected bills have come up, and so finances are tight and I'm worried and stressed. This is an understatement. And yet, I knew this would be hard. I knew it, and I chose to do it anyway, because I felt like it was right and I trusted that the Lord would take care of me if I did my part. I told that to Tupua the other day and he said to trust that, and not to go back on my faith now. It resonated with me, because I realized I have a tendency to leap with faith and then, as I'm floundering around in the air, to regret my decision and fear it won't work out. I know it's counter-productive, because the decision was already made, and it's pointless to worry about what-ifs. I know it's important to just move forward with faith, but that's so much easier said than done. Anyway, today, I've spent some time reading my patriarchal blessing (thanks Ang!) and reading scriptures and watching conference talks, to build myself up and motivate myself to work harder, to be more creative in finding work, and to be more spiritually in tune so can receive the guidance I need. I know things will work out somehow; they always do, when I trust the Lord. I have learned this time and time again. In the meantime, I love how clearly Dieter F. Uchdorf stated in general conference that "our circumstances do not determine our happiness". That's a powerful thought, because it makes it so that none of us are victims of circumstance, but can really choose to be happy. Plus, I do have a loving, supportive family (I include my friends in that) and the love of a really wonderful guy... and that is something to be truly, truly grateful for. =)